He Wants to Touch You
“He took him off by himself away from the crowd. He put his finger into the man’s ears and, spitting, touched his tongue.” —Mark 7:33
Can you imagine being touched by Jesus? On the tongue?
Being raised Catholic, I knew from a young age that Jesus desired a relationship with us through prayer. I was told—and believed—at any time, day or night, I could turn to Him in prayer, and He would be there to listen.
Yet so often it felt like it just wasn’t… enough.
It wasn’t enough to know He was with me in a spiritual sense. I ached to have Him present with me physically, like a friend by my side.
The primary trigger in my struggle with masturbation was loneliness, and turning to lust to fulfill my desire for intimacy was like trying to quench thirst with salt water. I knew deep down I was longing for a touch of authentic love, but whenever I turned to God in prayer expressing this ache for affection, it felt like all I received was radio silence.
It seemed maddening that Jesus—who is all-powerful and all-loving—couldn’t hold me physically, when that was what I longed for so desperately.
It would be years before I could see this with clarity, but every ache of loneliness was my heart echoing the cry of the Psalmist, “For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts, in a land parched, lifeless, and without water.” (Psalm 63:2)
I grew up hearing God was the ultimate satisfaction of our desires, but as I wrestled with unmet needs for intimacy manifesting into sexual addiction, it seemed impossible to envision “ultimate satisfaction” through a God who couldn’t hug me; couldn’t hold me; couldn’t gaze upon me with a glance I could return.
Yet, to speak of experiencing a physical yearning for God almost sounded scandalous, especially when my initial framework for a relationship with God was largely detached from my body.
However, when we ponder how Jesus interacts with the people He encounters in the Gospels, we see a God who readily offers a healing and loving touch to anyone who comes to Him.
Hebrews 13:8 reads, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” The truth is, the same Jesus who touched the deaf and mute man, who touched Peter’s mother-in-law on the hand to heal her fever, who tenderly washed the disciples’ feet—He wants to touch us, too.
Though it is true that only in Heaven will we experience the fullness of our desires in the Beatific Vision, as I’ve journeyed in my recovery, the Lord has kindly and patiently revealed two particular ways He desperately longs to be physically present with us:
Through healthy, loving touch with others
His bodily presence in the Eucharist
According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church,
“When his visible presence was taken from them, Jesus did not leave his disciples orphans. He promised to remain with them until the end of time; he sent them his Spirit. As a result communion with Jesus has become, in a way, more intense: “By communicating his Spirit, Christ mystically constitutes as his body those brothers of his who are called together from every nation.” (CCC 788)
Through the Holy Spirit we become members of Christ’s body and act as Jesus’s hands and feet in this world. Seen through this lens, we can recognize Jesus’s personal touch through every single act of authentic love expressed through the physical touch of others.
After suffering silently with my addiction for six years, I felt firmly convicted to bring my struggle into the light. As I discerned who I could trust with this part of my heart, a deeply compassionate and understanding religious sister who had been part of my life for some time came to mind.
As I shared with her, through many tears, the nature of my addiction, I will always remember how her first response was to put her hand on mine. In that moment, her touch communicated more to me than words alone ever could. It was a physical sign of the truth: my sexual sin didn’t make me untouchable.
Looking back now, I can see that response was sincerely Jesus in her, revealing that—even in my brokenness—I was worthy of love and affection and, ultimately, my desire for touch was good.
As a single woman living alone, it can be challenging to find ways to give and receive healthy touch on a regular basis. So, when the topic of touch came up in a recent counseling session, I realized that even years into my recovery, there was still a part of me that felt forgotten by God in this physical longing. When I turned to the Lord in prayer and vulnerably expressed to Him again my desire physical affection, I was surprised at how such a simple answer could bring so much peace to my heart:
The most intimate, loving touch I will ever receive is Jesus—Body and Soul—in the Eucharist.
Jesus touches us on the tongue every single time we receive Him in Holy Communion.
Just like He did the mute man in Mark 7.
By transforming bread and wine into His Body and Blood for us to consume, He reveals that our desire to be touched by Him is but a mere echo of His infinitely greater desire to touch us.
Dear sister in Christ, your desire for physical affection is holy and good.
Jesus’s love is a physical love expressed through His Body given up for you.
I invite you to reflect on who God has placed in your life, and how they reveal His love for you through healthy physical touch. If you are in a season of life where loving touch is rare, ask the Lord to bring people into your life who can love you in this way.
Then, consider how the Lord is calling you to spend more time with Him in the Most Holy Eucharist—whether that’s receiving His touch more often in communion at daily Mass, or spending more time with Him physically in Eucharistic Adoration.
Your desire for touch is sacred ground, and Jesus longs to satisfy it.
Come Lord Jesus, let us experience Your loving touch this day and every day. Amen.