Admitting Addiction
Since beginning to speak about and shed light on women’s sexual addiction, I regularly encounter a hesitancy in many women to admit their addiction. I get it--the word feels heavy, ominous, and irreversible. I felt it too. To say “I’m addicted” means you can no longer hide from the problem, or shove it under the rug. An addiction is something that has a claim on your life that really, really shouldn’t, and that fact is hard to ignore.
The hesitancy to admit addiction may feel like it protects you from shame, but in the end, it may be preventing you from fully chasing freedom. Trying to be free from an addiction you won’t admit you have is like trying to escape from a prison cell that you don’t believe truly exists. The avoidance of the term will keep you from giving your best effort.
Knowing the symptoms of addiction, and the benefits of admitting to it, can help us in our journey to full recovery.
What are the symptoms of addiction?
Psychology Today lists some of the most common signs of an addict, to any substance or activity:
The substance or activity is used in larger amounts or for a longer period of time than was intended.
There is a desire to cut down on use or unsuccessful efforts to do so.
There is a craving or strong desire to use the substance or engage in the activity.
Use of the substance or activity disrupts obligations at work, school, or home.
Use of the substance or activity continues despite the social or interpersonal problems it causes.
Tolerance occurs, indicated either by need for markedly increased amounts of the substance to achieve the desired effect or markedly diminished effect of the same amount of substance.
Use continues despite knowing it is causing or exacerbating physical or psychological problems.
Some women, in their struggle with pornography, mastubration, fantasizing, cybersex, or other related issues find that they only engage in it every so often. Others find it to be a daily struggle. When it comes to sexual addiction, the indicator isn’t frequency, but how bound your will is to these things. If you find yourself compulsively engaging in them, and unable to resist when you want to, that’s an indicator that you might be addicted. Addictions also grow in strength--what may be an “every once in a while” struggle can easily become a daily habit.
There’s a certain power in our words--that’s why addiction recovery groups like Alcoholics or Sexaholics Anonymous require you to say “I’m an addict.” Admitting the truth to ourselves hurts, but it doesn’t mean it’s the end. It’s actually only the beginning. We cannot fix something we don’t acknowledge is broken. Allowing yourself to admit to an addiction means you’re serious about recovering.
If you’re in a place of hesitancy to define your struggle, I encourage you not to be afraid. “You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free,” John 8:32 says. Sometimes the truth that makes us free is a brutal truth, but it’s freeing nonetheless.