The Tension, The Ache, and God’s Love for Us

I was in a long conversation on a retreat with two good friends, and everything we talked about boiled down to a single theme. We all know it—most of us don’t love it, yet we all live it; It’s the Tension.

One of the ways I’ve experienced this Tension is in another experience I will entitle the Ache. Oh, you know the Ache. The longing, groaning, very real stomach pain in waiting and craving something (or someone) not there. It might be towards the guy you really like but aren’t dating yet, for you and your boyfriend to be in a season of life you aren’t in, or a real sexual desire that can’t be acted on. And quite honestly it often hurts—it aches. 

And how good this Ache is! Thank you God for wanting to love us more. Thank you God for the desire to give more of myself as a gift. Thank you God for giving me more to give. But it’s not where I’m at, so here we find ourselves… in the Tension.

So how do we live within this Tension? How do we live in the present moment amidst such desire for the future? How do we handle the Ache?

If you have asked this question many times before, welcome to the club. While I’m not here to give you an easy answer, I am here to share a few reflections I’ve had over years of walking with others in this Ache, while navigating my own.

For one, I think God loves it when we let ourselves ache. Jesus felt more deeply than any other human because He felt with God’s actual heart. Jesus wept and groaned and hungered and thirst and experienced the many aches of humanity. Every time we allow our hearts to ache, we unite our hearts a little more deeply with God’s heart, which understands the greatest of aches. This is why we can thank God for the Ache: because it’s a sharing of His heart with us. Not to mention, God’s heart aches for you. 

You think your Ache is bad? Think of His for you.

Secondly, it’s good to look at what Jesus did with His Ache. He asked for it to be taken away, but when it couldn’t be, He surrendered it. 

“If you are willing, let this cup pass from me. Yet not my will but your will be done.” —Luke 22:41 

God didn’t take away His Ache, but from this obedience in the midst of Christ’s suffering, our salvation was won. It seems the Lord loves to bless sacrifices born from the Ache. He may not take it right away, but He values obedience (1 Samuel 15:22).

Feel the Ache. 

Thank God. 

Surrender. 

And repeat.

It’s not a glamorous life. It comes with a lot of desire and hardship and difficult moments. But thank God you can feel them. Thank God our hearts are softened to that which causes us to feel deeply. Thank God I get a super-secret sneak-peek into His heart every time I allow mine to ache. Thank God I don’t have to be afraid of loving too strongly.

Thank you God for my Ache.