Recovery and Lord of the Rings
A while back, I watched the extended editions of the Lord of the Rings movies. Parts of the trilogy stood out to me in new ways about recovery from my sexual addictions, and I’d like to share a couple with you here. If you haven’t read LOTR yet, don’t worry, I’ll fill you in, but there are some serious spoilers coming ahead–let’s get started.
The saga focuses on the One Ring: a powerful yet dangerous tool created by Sauron, the evil force of Middle Earth. The only way to destroy it, however, is to toss it into the lava at Mount Doom. By sheer chance, an ordinary hobbit named Frodo is given the task of destroying the one ring. His mission is beyond anything he’s ever dealt with before, and this long journey will be filled with loss and obstacles.
Anyone who has identified an addiction and resolved to quit has stared down the path of a similar journey.
Some characters in the story claim the ring can be used for noble purposes, but the ring itself can’t do this because it corrupts whoever has it–its nature is linked to the one who created it, Sauron the evil one. Possessors of the ring become greedy, violent, and are tempted to do anything to keep it for themselves.
How many of those in our culture today argue such things about porn and masturbation–that it can be beneficial or even healthy? We know the truth, however: Porn doesn’t help, it harms. But despite how harmful, we are drawn to the immediate gratification porn and masturbation bring. A part of us may not want to give them up. How can we fight such a strong temptation?
No one is more attached to the ring than the creature Gollum. Formerly known as Sméagol, Gollum committed murder to possess the ring, consumed by the power it gave him. His soul, mind, and body were corrupted to the point where he was no longer recognizable. Sexual addiction does the same. Porn and masturbation damage our relationships and can lead to prolonged isolation, just as the ring did for Gollum over hundreds of years with his “precious.” Gandalf explains Gollum’s obsession with the ring, saying, “He hates and loves the ring as he hates and loves himself.”
How often have we loved the act of sexual addiction but hated who we found afterward?
Another tragic character, Isildur, almost destroyed the ring long ago but let the temptation of the ring overcome him. After he was killed, the ring was lost and couldn’t be found for thousands of years until Gollum came across it. Isildur’s failure in destroying the ring kept the spirit of Sauron alive. However, a descendant of Isildur, Aragorn, helps Frodo on his quest to destroy the ring once and for all, looking to overcome his family’s legacy.
How many of us come from dysfunctional families or histories of addiction we feel we can’t overcome? When tempted to despair, Aragorn serves as an example for us to have faith and resolve to do better than our earlier generations.
In The Fellowship of The Ring, Frodo remarks, “I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.” I have often wished the same about my experiences with sexual compulsions.
Gandalf responds, “So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil.”
There’s a point in The Two Towers where Frodo doesn’t think he can continue the journey anymore. His companion Sam gives a moving speech:
“It’s like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you that meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. Because they were holding onto something.”
Frodo: “What are we holding onto, Sam?”
Sam: “That there’s good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it’s worth fighting for.”
I’ve wasted so much time with masturbation, porn, and sexual fantasies. But even despite that, I can choose what to do now, in the present moment for the sake of my future–God is at work. He’s at work in the little moments and in the long journeys, so have faith in His presence. Our relationship with God and with others is worth fighting for.